


Rule #33: Never Travel Alone

by Chibifukurou



Category: Zombieland (2009)
Genre: First Time, Fluff, Multi, Threesome - F/M/M, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-15
Updated: 2018-10-15
Packaged: 2019-08-02 13:46:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16306307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chibifukurou/pseuds/Chibifukurou
Summary: Columbus had never dreamed he could have a triad. He's socially award and terrible with people.It only takes the zombie apocalypse to prove him wrong.





	Rule #33: Never Travel Alone

**Author's Note:**

> The lovely teaspoon82 was kind enough to make this awesome mix for the story: [Here](https://8tracks.com/teaspoon82/rule-33-never-travel-alone)

Wichita shoved hair out of her face with the back of her hand. The move left dirt and something that was probably blood streaked across her cheek. She smiled a happy, reckless smile before firing her shotgun and blasting the head off another zombie. She was one of the most beautiful things Columbus had ever seen. 

There was a roar of noise as Tallahassee ran past and ducked down another grocery store aisle. He had a chainsaw in each hand and was laughing maniacally. Columbus had never thought he’d find a man covered in blood and wearing a face shield attractive. Funny the things you learned about yourself during a zombie apocalypse.

A zombie hoarde chased after Tallahassee. Their hands were outstretched and faces slack. Black ichor oozed from their mouths as they moaned.

They were attracted to noise and too stupid to realize that chainsaw noise was a sign of their coming demise instead of food.

Columbus sniped a few of the zombies off of Tallahassee’s tail. Tallahassee wouldn’t consider it sporting. But as long as he was alive to complain about it, Columbus didn’t care.

More gunfire took out the zombies that were closing on Wichita’s flank. Little Rock was getting good with her gun. 

Between the four of them, they got the store clear of zombies quickly. Even with Tallahassee’s dramatics.

Without the adrenaline of running for their lives, the smell was hard to ignore. A nose seering mix of rotting meat, moldy produce, and sour dairy.

The power had lasted for a few months after the zombie takeover, but rolling blackouts were getting more frequent. And in small towns like this one, the power wasn’t coming back on.

Without power or supply trucks, it wasn’t just twinkies that were becoming hard to find. Though in fairness to Tallahassee’s obsession they still hadn’t found a single twinky.

Once they were sure there were no more zombies lurking, Columbus went into supply gathering mode. Over their months together they’d worked out a system for getting supplies packed up as quickly as possible.

Those first few weeks when everywhere had endless supplies and power, hadn’t lasted long enough

True to form, Tallahassee joined Columbus in the snack aisle soon after Columbus had started shoving every sealed box of snack crackers and cookies he could into one of his duffle bags. With all their preservatives, sugar, and grease they were ideal for eating on the road. No cooking necessary. 

“I already checked for twinkies.” Columbus called to him, as he stomped past, the heels of his boots clicking on the linoleum. 

A long string of curses sounded from the Hostees display. Packages of snowballs went flying past, bright pink and eye-catching in the dim light from the skylights overhead.

Columbus rolled his eyes. He’d grabbed all the snowballs he’d wanted before Tallahassee got involved. Despite Columbus’ attempts to act annoyed, Tallahassee’s antics never ceased to be amusing. 

He shoved his upper body into the shelf, fingers just brushing the package of fudge filled chocolate chip cookies that Wichita liked best.

“Almost done?”

Columbus jerked, his head slamming into the bottom of a shelf. Fuck! He dragged himself upright, rubbing futilely at his head. That was going to bruise. “Jesus, Little Rock. Don’t do that.”

“It’s not like zombies talk.” She grabbed a pack of Milanos off one of the higher shelves and jammed cookies into her mouth. She gave him the unimpressed look that seemed to come naturally to all teenagers. 

“So, not the point.” He pulled himself to his feet. The duffle bag of cookies swung precariously and almost tipped him over.

“Whatever.”

Tallahassee muttered to himself as he headed down the aisle and turned past the checkout counter to go down the canned food aisle. No sign of Wichita or Tallahassee in the better-lit front of the store.

Little rock trailed after him, crunching loudly on her cookies.

“Don’t you want to go hang out with Wichita?” He grabbed a few boxes of brightly colored cereal from the canned foods aisle end cap with a delighted crow. 

“No, she’s trying on all the lipsticks.” She opened her own bag and showed a couple tubes to Columbus. “Like she’s not going to just pick the same colors as always.”

“Might as well try everything. It’s not like we’re coming back.” His second duffle was smaller. He couldn’t pick up a four foot bag's worth of jars and cans and still run. He’d learned that lesson the hard way. There was even a rule about it. “Rule 18: Do not carry more supplies than you can run with.”

He shoved canned spaghetti into the bag, slowed by his need to get everything stacked up just right. “Did you get you part of the supplies?”

“All the soda and Gatorade I could carry and enough toilet paper for weeks.” She leaned against the shelf of bagged rice and continued munching on her cookies. The other three had learned that trying to help Columbus with packing didn’t end well.

Nobody but Columbus could remember all the rules he had for how to pack things. He moved on to the cans of baked beans. “You could go check on Tallahassee. He’s probably trying to find some new ways to kill zombies.”

Little Rock wrinkled her nose. Her hero worship of Tallahassee had faded to long suffering acceptance over their months together. “I get that’s his whole thing. Like the twinkies. But seriously a gun does a better job at lower risk.”

She finished as many of the cookies as she wanted and stuffed the rest of the pack into her hoodie pocket before grabbing a jar of cherries and starting in on those. 

Columbus couldn’t think of a good argument about why guns weren’t better zombie killing tools than machetes or banjos or whatever else Tallahassee came up with to kill zombies. And no way in hell was he telling Little Rock that watching Tallahassee dispatch zombies in unusual ways was hot. 

She stayed with him until he’d filled his second bag. And she’d made it most of the way through the cherries and changed over to peach packs from the fruit aisle.

Together they headed for the store’s glassed in front. Still no sign of the other two.

Little Rock got her gun up and ready to cover him as they walked through the doors. Columbus’ hands were full and there were plenty of places for a zombie to hide in a parking lot filled with haphazardly parked cars and abandoned grocery carts.

He eyed every shadow with suspicion. Every flash of movement as trash tumbled across pitted asphalt made him jump and stare.

“EWWWWW, Gross!” Little Rock shouted.

His head snapped around. Was it another zombie clown? His gaze skittered from car to car.

It took a minute for him to look at their own SUV. A bright green Hummer with their signature three painted messily on the side.

Wichita had Tallahassee pinned against the SUV. Her hair was tangled like someone had been running their hands through it. Her eyes threw daggers at Little Rock.

Multiple colors of lipstick were smeared over Tallahassee’s mouth and neck making it clear what they had been doing before Columbus and Little Rock arrived. When he saw Columbus staring at him he gave a cocky wink.

Columbus jerked his eyes away. They landed on his shoes. He shouldn’t feel jealous or upset. They were both awesome and beautiful and of course they’d become a primer couple. It wasn’t like he’d actually stood a chance.

Wichita and Little Rock’s glaring match had turned into bickering. He really didn’t want to stand there listening to them yell and avoiding Tallahassee’s eyes. Besides, the bag of cans was dragging at his shoulder.

He went around to the back of the Hummer. The Hummer didn’t make much of a noise buffer but nobody could see through it. He needed a minute to control his expression. Opening the trunk, he swung the bag of snacks inside.

He twisted to drop the bag of cans inside too.

Something yanked on his leg, hard. His feet went out from under him and his arms flailed for purchase.  
Then he was down, the bag of cans slamming into his ribs. His head met the pavement and everything went gray and unreal.

When his vision cleared, he was partially under the SUV. Something was dragging him. Gravel scraped his back.

Fuck! They must have missed a zombie. Clawing at his shotgun strap he tried to wrench it free, but the gun was pinned under him and every frantic movement sent his head spinning. Bile rose in his throat. He wasn’t going to get the gun around to firing position before he got eaten. 

Letting go of the strap, he grabbed the cars bumper instead. He kicked frantically. Trying to keep the zombie from getting a chance to bite through his pants. His foot met something with give.

A growling moan echoed through the small space. He kept kicking. How long had it been? Where were the others? He was still getting pulled further under the Hummer. His grip on the bumper was failing.

There was a bang. A weight fell across his legs, pinning them. Big hands grabbed his arms, and he was slowly pulled out from under the Hummer. His rifle scraping loudly against the asphalt making his ears ring.

When his head was pulled clear of the Hummer he got one look at Tallahassee’s face, before he had to slam his eyes closed. The golden sunset light felt like acid poured into his brain.

“FUCK, Fuck, fuck!” Tallahassee’s voice was rough. “You scared the shit out of me.”

Columbus wanted to tell him he was fine, nothing to worry about, but the cans were still pressing on his lungs. And everything was just pain.

“Fuck, Wichita, you see any others?” Tallahassee called. 

The sound so close to his head, made Columbus whimper.

“Nothing I can see. Get him into the car. We have the area covered.” Was her voice shaking?

 

Tallahassee shoved the cans off his chest. God, did it feel good to get a full breath. “Come on, let’s get you up.” 

 

Tallahassee picked him all the way up, arms wrapped around his shoulders and behind his knees. “Come on, come on.” 

Columbus should try to help, but his chest was still burning and everything kept going wobbly like he was losing time. 

He could hear the creak of the car door opening. Then Tallahassee laid him down across the back seat, the fabric soft against his aching head.

Maybe if he just laid here everything would go away. Tallahassee’s big hands were back, pulling the shotgun off his back. Columbus curled up on his side, trying to breathe through the renewed nasua.

Tallahassee was gentle as he ran his hands over Columbus’ boots and pants legs. “Jesus, fuck. You’re okay. Don’t see any bite marks. Just stay there for a bit while we get packed up okay?”

Columbus didn’t respond. The idea of nodding made his stomach lurch. He clenched his eyes shut and focused on breathing through the nausea and pain. 

He felt lips against his cheek. Or at least he thought he did. By the time he got his eyes cracked open to check he could only see Tallahassee's back as he climbed out of the door. It was probably all in his head. 

Without somebody talking to him, time lost meaning, and exhaustion pulled him into a dose.

He woke a little when the door by his head opened and someone crawled in. It felt good when they raised his head and laid it back down on a soft lap. The car started with a familiar rumble, and the motion and the feel of fingers combing through his hair lulled him back to sleep. 

#

He jerked upright. There had been a zombie.

He was laying in a big bed. In a room that looked like it was straight out of the world pre Zombieland.

The difference between this pastel, nick knack strewn place and the half-remembered dream of darkness and teeth was jarring. He eased himself back down against the stack of pillows he’d been propped up on when he’d startled awake.

He remembered shopping and then the acrid fear of being dragged under the Hummer. Things got blurry after that, but he had a vague dreamlike memory of being held against someone’s chest and fingers running through his hair.

Cracking an eye open he took a better look at the room. He was lying on a triad king, covered in a pile of soft blankets. Pictures were hung on the wall and the closet was overflowing from three people’s worth of clothes.

The others must have found somebody’s house to stay in after he’d lost consciousness. Guilt gnawed on his guts. He didn’t like the thought of the three of them having to clear this place on their own.

He must have been really hurt if they had risked clearing out somewhere to stay long-term instead of following their usual pattern of sleeping in the SUV while driving.

He remembered pain and it being hard to breathe, but everything was pleasantly numb. How long had be been asleep? He rolled over, carefully. An orange pill bottle rested on the bedside table with a half drunk bottle of water. That explained the lack of pain.

He must have been really out of it if they had gotten him to take drugs when he didn’t even remember anything since the car. He was tempted to go back to sleep, but his bladder was insisting that he could sleep later.

He edged slowly to the side of the bed. Before swinging himself into a sitting position. The room spun. The brightly floral curtains turned into a swirl of colors.

He pressed his head to his knees and breathed slowly.

A door opened and there was the sound of footsteps before a warm hand pressed into his back.

“You should have called before you got up, idiot.”  
Tallahassee’s tone was annoyed.

“Bathroom.” Columbus croaked.

Tallahassee sighed, but he was gentle as he helped Columbus to his feet. He kept an arm wrapped around Columbus’ waist to steady him. The feel of him tall and strong against the entire length of Columbus’ side was amazing.

The bathroom was down the hall. Tallahassee’s support was the only thing keeping him upright the last few feet. By the time Tallahassee got him to the toilet, he barely got his pants down before collapsing onto it.

The zombie apocalypse had not been enough to cure his problems with peeing when someone else was in the room. But Tallahassee was used to that by now.

He turned the water on to a slow trickle to cover the sounds of Columbus peeing and headed out the door with only a ‘Call me when you want to get up, we don’t need you breaking the shower by falling on it with your rock hard skull’ yelled over his shoulder.

Columbus’ mouth twitched. There was a time he’d have taken that kind of talk as an insult. A sign that Tallahassee didn’t actually like him. But now he knew better than to take the grumping seriously.

Living together for months in an SUV on a cross country road trip had helped Columbus’ atrocious people skills. He knew Tallahassee, Wichita, and Little Rock well enough that he felt like he got all of their subtext.

Instead of always having to worry that he was missing out on some secret language that everybody in the world knew.

Once he was finished, Columbus was very tempted to ignore Tallahassee’s warning and get up on his own. Getting picked up off the toilet somehow felt even more embarrassing than being helped onto it.

The room was still spinning a little. The pattern on the wallpaper rising up and falling away at random. But the faucet was really only a few feet away.

But if he tried to reach it and fell, Tallahassee would be really pissed.

Columbus forced himself to stop gnawing on his lip and take a deep breath.

He could do this. Tallahassee had seen him a lot worse off than this. It wasn’t worth falling and doing permanent damage just because he was embarrassed. “Tallahassee?”

Tallahassee was in the door practically before Columbus said the second syllable of his name. They stared at each other awkwardly. Columbus’ pants pooled around his ankles.

This would normally be where Tallahassee would start calling names and pulling Columbus’ metaphorical pigtails.

But he seemed to realize that Columbus wasn’t up for that.

Instead he kept his mouth shut as he lifted Columbus off the toilet and kept him steady when he reached down to pull up his sweatpants. It was only as he pulled then up that Columbus realized he had been wearing jeans last thing he remembered. A blush blazed its way up Columbus’ cheeks. Who had changed him while he’d been out?

Together they shuffled over to the sink. Tallahassee propped Columbus up against the counter so they didn’t have to jam together in the tiny space between the sink and the bathtub. Columbus missed the warmth of Tallahassee against his side.

When Columbus turned the faucet on, actual hot water came out. Clear, with no scent of iron and murk they’d all gotten used to over the last few months as the country’s infrastructure stopped being repaired.

Tallahassee saw his start of surprise. “Yeah, looks like the water tower’s pump is still operational. And there were solar panels all over the complex roof. Even a swamp cooler to keep the place from being God awful. Wichita thinks there are other survivors around.”

Survivors. “Did they want us to stay here with them?

“Haven’t come by to say hello.” He shrugged, “I’m not holding my breath. If I can’t find a twinky, I ain’t finding a bunch of survivors just looking to add us to their circle jerk.”

Columbus tried to imagine it. Becoming part of civilization again. It had been easy to forget what things were like before. Did he even want that?

Fucked up as it was, he was happy with their life. The little broken family they had cobbled together. “How long was I out? And why are we in a house?”

“We’re in an apartment because the only motel we could find in town was burned to the ground and your head might be thick but bouncing over a bunch of pot holes wasn’t going to do it any favors.” Once he saw Columbus was done Tallahassee was back in his space, helping him limp into the hall.

He smelled like gun oil and leather. Columbus took a few deep breaths while Tallahassee was distracted describing the particulars of getting the way up to the apartment clear.

As they headed back up the hall, they passed a bunch of pictures of a triad of two dark-skinned men and their pale, red headed wife. That was the other reason they tried to avoid apartments and people’s homes. Being reminded that the zombies that they had to shoot had once been people was horrible. “Did you run into any trouble?”

“Nah, place was empty when we got here.” Tallahassee lowered Columbus back onto the edge of the bed, still talking, “And then you of course slept for almost a whole day. I was all for trying to keep you awake. That’s what I was always told to do with folks who got hit on the head, but Wichita said that was a myth and to let you sleep.”

Wichita carried a big bottle of water and a couple wrapped poptarts into the room. She dropped it all on the bed-side table and then crawled onto the wide bed to help ease Columbus back onto the pile of pillows. “You are supposed to watch out for zombies, idiot.”

“I did!” Probably not as well as he could have... okay definitely not as well as he could have. But he wasn’t going to tell her that the two of them kissing had been too distracting. He’d sound like a completely obsessed stalker.

Columbus was too busy feeling guilty to notice Wichita getting closer until she was on top of him, pressing her lips to his. His thoughts ground to a halt.

 

“Don’t scare us like that again.”

 

Columbus’ jaw dropped. Tallahassee took advantage to kiss him with tongue. And he didn’t pull back until Columbus was gasping raggedly for breath.

“Not so rough.” Wichita reminded him as he pulled away.

 

“Looks like we found a good way to shut him up!” was Tallahassee’s reply.

Then they were kissing each other over him. Seeing them that close, with the taste of both of them on his lips, he started getting hard. His damn blush came back as they fought for dominance. Shoving at each other’s shoulders and trying to push each other over.

 

Finally, Columbus couldn’t hold it in any longer. “What the Fuck!”

They sprung apart. Both staring at him.

 

“What the fuck!” Columbus said again, softer. Did he have amnesia or something? They hadn’t done this before he hit his head right?

Wichita was the one who recovered first. She rolled her eyes. “I thought it was pretty obvious what was going on.”

 

“Why were you kissing me when you are already together?”

 

Wichita started to laugh, then seeming to realize that Columbus wasn’t sharing the joke sobered up. “You’re kidding right?”

Maybe this was one of those regular people things that he never understood. “You guys are already a couple.”

 

This time it was Tallahassee that cut in. “We’re a primer couple. Still plenty of room for you.” He motioned at the large bed and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

 

Was he ever going to stop blushing? He studied a few loose threads in the comforter. Despite himself that eyebrow wiggle was enough to make him imagine being sandwiched between them. Tallahassee big and strong against his back, and Wichita soft and sweet smelling with her long, delicate fingers against his front.

“I—I.” When he’d been a kid, this had been easy to explain. He hadn’t understood why just telling the other kids about his parents was enough to make them stop talking to him.

He’d figured it out when he’d gotten to highschool and people had started matching up. Health class was all about how to be a good triad.

He’d only ever had a Mom and a Dad. No third member of their triad. No mima or pop like the other kids. “My parents didn’t do the whole triad thing,”

 

Wichita and Tallahassee both back away from him. Were they going to run away now that they knew he was fucked up? He glanced at them through his eyelashes, still not willing to make full eye contact.

 

They hadn’t gone far. Neither of them was running for the door. Instead they were having a conversation involving a lot of eyebrow waggling of the non-sexy variety.

Finally, they seemed to come to a decision. They both moved back towards him. Wichita asked,“Okay, so have you ever dated anyone serious before this?”

He tried to straighten his spine, look tougher than he was. Like when he had first met Tallahassee and sworn that he’d had a variety of sexual encounters since the Apocalypse. “I’ve dated before.”

Tallahassee snorted. “Course you have. But we’re talking more than knocking boots.”

“Have you ever been part of a triad or a primer couple?” Wichita interrupted before Columbus and Tallahassee could devolve into their usual bickering.

Columbus shook his head. That movement was enough to make the room start rocking gently back and forth. His hands clenched reflexively on the comforter. He’d been so distracted he’d forgotten about the recent head injury. The meds must be starting to wear off.

A dull throbbing had started in the back of his skull. He couldn’t stifle his whine as he clenched his eyes shut and tried to breathe through the nausea.

“Right, not the time for this.” Tallahassee’s hands wrapped around Columbus’ shoulders and he gently eased him back onto the pile of pillows. “You’ve got a half hour until we can give you more pain meds. Right now we need to get some food and water into you.”

“Don’t think I can.” His stomach was crawling its way up his throat.

“We gotta try anyway. You don’t want to be so nauseous that you throw the pills back up again.”

 

Yeah, he definitely didn’t want to be stuck feeling like this for hours. The weight on the bed shifted as Wichita wrapped herself around him, her fingers running through his hair in the same gentle motion that had lulled him to sleep back in the SUV.

 

Tallahassee sat down in front of him. The foil poptart package rustled as he pulled it open with his teeth. He broke off small chunks and fed them to Columbus bit by bit. Interspersed with sips from the water bottle.

By the time he could take pain medicine the poptarts were gone, and he was more asleep than awake.

He fell asleep dreaming about this being his life. Never being alone again. 

 

#

 

The next few days were mostly spent sleeping. It was hard to keep track of time when his whole world narrowed to trips between the bathroom and bedroom. 

Tallahassee finally let him sleep out on the couch once he could stay awake long enough to feed himself. Columbus was going to miss having Wichita or Tallahassee feed him. But it was nice being out in the action, surrounded by the other three members of his family, as they bickered and sniped. 

 

Wichita and Tallahassee didn't push him to discuss becoming a Triad again but they were always cuddling and kissing him. And they spent their nights cuddling in the bed.

He was slowly starting to feel better. They'd gotten the pain pills down to only a half a pill before his afternoon nap and when he woke up in the middle of the night. Tallahassee had found a cane somewhere and as long as he made sure to use it, Columbus was even allowed to make the slow shuffle to the bathroom and back on his own. 

 

The room had stopped spinning unless he did something stupid. Like bending over to pick something up off the ground or standing up too fast. 

Following their usual pattern the three of them cuddled on the couch after Little Rock went to bed.

 

"We should be heading out soon," Tallahassee said. 

 

Wichita nodded. "I talked it over with Little Rock. We still haven't seen any of the other survivors in the area, but the stores have definitely been getting cleared out when we aren't in them. We've been careful not to take much, but I don't want to rely on their good will once the supplies that are left run out." 

 

"Should we leave now?" He hadn't realized things had been getting that bad. He still wasn't able to run faster than a zombies horde, so he'd been left at the apartment while the rest went on supply runs.

 

"Yeah, because hitting the road with an invalid is a great idea." Tallahassee’s tone was sarcastic, but he hugged Columbus tighter.

“We should be fine for another week or so. No reason to take chances,” Wichita added, “besides we should give this old man a chance to rest too.”

Tallahassee had just taken a large slug of his beer and just barely managed not to snort it up his nose when he laughed. He still had to spend the next few minutes trying to clean spilled beer off his lap between coughing fits. 

 

Wichita just smirked and gave Columbus a wink. 

 

He had to be careful not to laugh hard enough to set off a headache. 

 

"You're evil," Tallahassee finally managed to say between coughs. 

Wichita's smirk just got bigger. "If you didn't figure that out by the second time you met me you're more of an idiot than I thought.”

 

Columbus thought that was a fair assessment. Between stealing their guns, the kidnapping, and the carjacking their first few meetings had been telling.

They’d come a long way since then. 

Tallahassee put his drink down on the coffee table, making deliberate eye contact with Wichita. "Oh yeah?" 

 

He eased his arm from around Columbus and dove for her, barely missing when she vaulted over the couch’s arm rest. Tallahassee gave chase. Columbus watched as they ran circles around the livingroom, before Wichita finally tripped Tallahassee onto the end of the couch, on top of Columbus' feet. She climbed up on top of both of them and started kissing Tallahassee. 

 

His boner was back, watching them, tongues' battling and hands groping. He wasn't sure if he wanted to reach down and do some groping of his own, or run away. But with the two of them on his feet he was trapped.

Wichita got the buttons of Tallahassee's shirt open and bared his chest. She ran her bright red nails over his nipples and stomach, prompting him to moan into their kiss. 

 

Columbus stared. He definitely wanted to do some groping. 

 

"Shut the fuck up and take it to the bedroom!" Little Rock yelled from her bedroom. Making all three of them jump. 

 

Columbus was pretty sure he was red from his ears all the way to his toes. Tallahassee looked equally embarrassed. Wichita just yelled back. "I told you to put on your headphones!" 

 

Still she got off of Tallahassee and pulled him to his feet. His shirt hung from his elbows and there were red lipstick stains all over his mouth and chin. 

 

They got him up carefully. And Tallahassee guided him towards the bedroom with a hand around his waist. 

 

His blush got even harder. It was a good sign they thought he was up for sexy times. But not only had he never been a part of a triad before, he'd also never had sex beyond a couple handjobs.

 

Tallahassee lowered him to the side of the bed. "Probably best you stay over here unless you think you are ready to join in for the more athletic stuff?" He waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

 

God, was Columbus ever going to stop blushing? He peeked out of the corner of his eye, to where Wichita was stripping down on the other side of the bed. His eyes jerked back forward. Nope, definitely wasn’t going to stop blushing.

 

"If you want, we can hold off? We can just cuddle like normal?” Wichita offered. 

 

Columbus' eyes ran over Tallahassee's bare chest again, then he looked over at where Wichita was dressed only in a pair of lacey panties. "I--I can watch?" 

 

Tallahassee nodded, before backing away to start stripping down himself. They'd all seen each other partially undressed before. They practically lived on top of each other in the SUV, and had slept in the same bed the last few nights. 

He still couldn't drag his eyes away from Tallahassee's hands as they skimmed down his thighs, pulling off his pants, or the broad sweep of Tallahassee's back, as he turned to toss his shirt away. 

 

Wichita climbed onto the bed and wrapped herself around his back. "You just watch, and if you want to join in once things get a little calmer, just say something, okay?" 

Could it really be that simple? He turned carefully to look at her. Her eyes were still carefully makeuped to look dark and large and her red lips were pulled into a smile instead of her usual smirk. 

 

"We want you to be a part of this, but you don’t have to do anything you aren’t ready for. We’ll back off, no questions asked, okay?" 

 

"Okay." He forced out around the lump in his throat. He was really going to do this. Sit here and watch as they had sex. And later he might join in. 

 

Nerves made his stomach churn. He prayed he wasn't going to have to interrupt this to make his way to the bathroom. There was nothing quite like putting sex on hold to go have an IBS attack to kill the mood. 

 

Then Wichita was in his arms, kissing him. Her mouth gentle in contrast to how she'd looked ready to eat Tallahassee alive, and it felt right and good. Her long hair brushing against his face and her fingers tangled in his hair as she eased them slowly down against the pillows. 

 

By the time she pulled away, he was out of breath and nerves were the last thing on his mind. Then Tallahassee was kissing him too and it was different. His broad palm cupping the back of Columbus' head while they other cupped his butt and ground them together. 

Then he was crawling over Columbus to the side of the bed where Wichita was laid out, waiting. 

# 

 

After they finish, they pulled him between them, and Wichita used her hand on him while Tallahassee kept him from moving and aggravating his head. 

 

It took him an embarrassingly short time to come, but neither of them said anything. They just wrapped themselves around him. Until they were all in a pile in the center of the large bed, their bodies warm and heavy and the sound of their breathing loud in his ears. 

 

A little light filtered through the curtains hung over the window on the wall next to the bed. It turned Wichita and Tallahassee into silhouette's. Only the vague lighter curves of their arms and faces visible. 

 

It felt unreal, like this was another of the dreams that had haunted his sleep over the last few months. He imagined a lifetime of nights like this. Was this what being a triad would be like?

 

That was as scary of a thought as it was thrilling. He still didn't know how to be a part of a triad. Even when he had tried to date in college, he'd had thought he'd follow his parents lead and remain only with one other person. 

He’d never been good with people. Surely there weren't two other people in the world that would think someone like him was worth dating. It had only taken the end of the world to prove him wrong. 

 

"My mom was never really a part of a triad either." While he had been trying to wrestle his own nerves into submission, it seemed like the closeness had jarred something loose in Wichita. 

 

Usually they never heard anything about her and Little Rock's life before zombieland. Except for when Little Rock told funny stories about some of the idiots they'd conned. 

 

"It wasn't like with your parents. She just didn't think of people like permanent parts of her life. She'd find some older couple who felt alone after part of their triad died and convince them it was true love. And me and Little Rock would get a Mima or a Papa for a few months or even a year or two.”

“Then Mom was ready to move on again, usually with most of their life savings in toe." She started running her fingers up and down Columbus' belly as she spoke. 

 

It didn't feel as good as her fingers running through his hair, but he was glad it gave her some kind of comfort. What was he supposed to say or do, to make her feel better? 

 

"She got stupid," Wichita's voice stopped sounding sad and got sharp, angry, "I was old enough to look after Little Rock on my own so she tried to go for this really rich couple. Their kids tracked down a bunch of the other folks she'd conned and she got sent to prison." 

 

"Fuck." Tallahassee said. 

 

They'd driven past a prison in their first few weeks together. Zombies dressed in prison orange had pressed up against the chain-link fence, their mouths dripping black ichor as they tried to reach through the fence. All pressed against each other, desperate for prey. 

 

At least Columbus could imagine that his parents were alive somewhere. Wichita and Little Rock didn’t even have that. 

 

"I'm...I'm sorry." Stupid, useless thing to say. Of course he was sorry. 

 

She buried her face in his shoulder. Her breath was ragged and his shoulder got damp. He stayed quiet and let her cry. 

 

He could see the gray outline of Tallahassee's arm reaching across him as he pressed his hand to her back and rubbed slow circles. 

 

The gasping breaths stopped, and she slowly went limp against Columbus' side. Tallahassee's hand still resting on her back. 

 

Both of their breathing had slowed and evened by the time Columbus closed his eyes. He didn't want to lose even a second of this memory. It was similar to the nights where they all slept together but it felt more intimate and more unreal at the same time. 

 

Even if they weren't able to make this work, he wanted this memory to last. He tested the thought in his head. The word's he'd never said to anybody but his parents before. It sounded right. And they were asleep. They wouldn't know that he was being stupid. "I love you." He whispered into the quiet darkness. 

 

And then he closed his eyes and let their warmth ease him to sleep.  
# 

 

They stayed at the apartment for another week until the last of Columbus' concussion symptoms faded. He still wasn’t able to run like usual, but as long as somebody was with him, he’d be fine. 

 

The supplies around here were drying up and they didn’t need to overstay their welcome. 

Columbus would miss the apartment. Especially its big bed and doors that locked. 

 

The Hummer pulled back onto the highway, Tallahassee driving with Wichita's hand on his thigh. Little Rock with Columbus in the back seat. The sense of Normalcy made the last few weeks seem unreal.

Like he’d just imagined the whole triad thing. He pushed that fear away. This was real. They were going to make this work. They might not know how to be a proper triad, but they'd find a way to build something that worked for the three of them. 

 

# 

 

Six months on, and they were back where things began. In a grocery store watching as Tallahassee ran around killing zombies with a variety of gardening implements, whooping all the while. 

 

Columbus' fears haven't gone away, but they are starting to feel less and less important. He fell asleep every night with Wichita in his arms and Tallahassee spooning him. And in the morning there were kisses and cuddles to look forward to.

 

Little Rock ran past, watching Tallahassee's back while Columbus stayed with Wichita. That was another sign of the change in their relationship. Little Rock was actually trusting them to keep an eye on Wichita sometimes. 

Columbus kept his shotgun leveled down the checkout aisle, just in case either of them got into trouble, but most of his attention was on Wichita. She had seen the store's display of fifty sent prize machine's and insisted on breaking into them. 

A zombie came up on his side, apparently not interested in joining its friends in chasing the louder prey in the main part of the store. Columbus’ shotgun turned its head to mist. "You almost done back there?" 

"Just...one...more...minute." Her words were punctuated by the sound of breaking glass and metal on metal. 

He almost turned to see what she was doing when Tallahassee and Little Rock came screaming through the check out lane, with what looked like two dozen zombies on their tail. 

It was the biggest mob they had seen in months. How the hell had that many of them gotten into the store? And most of them still looked fresh, which meant they'd be extra fast. "Fuck!" 

He started in with his shotgun and after only a second Wichita's rifle started going off, so close it made his ears ring. 

There were some loud thumps and cursing on his other side as Tallahassee dropped the gardening utensils in favor of actual fire power. With Tallahassee's semi it didn't take long to wipe out the mob. 

"How the hell did that many zombies get in here?" Columbus asked between nervous pants. He was going to have to find the store's bathroom.

 

"Somebody left the door open on the loading dock. Once we got into the back room they all rushed us." Little rock sounded equally out of breath. Though it didn't take long for that to turn into laughter as the adrenaline rush started to fail. "Tallahassee got two of them beheaded with his hedge trimmers before we realized out many there were." 

 

Columbus rolled his eyes. "Come on, lets make sure that the rest of them are down. Then we can fill up our packs and get out of here before anybody else comes to eat our brains." 

It wasn't until they were back on the road that he remembered Wichita's insistence on getting into the prize machines "What did you see, anyway?" 

 

"Right!" She dug into her bag and pulled out a prize ball with a bright green bottom. 

 

There was a pop as it opened and she pulled out one of the cheap sets of paste rings that kids used to propose marriage and play house with. They were utterly cheesy, but as she held two of them out to Tallahassee and Columbus, it didn't matter.

"I now pronounce us engaged!" Her eyes twinkled. 

 

Columbus wasn't sure if this was supposed to be a joke, but he didn't care. He took the ring she held out to him from her fingers and pushed it onto his left hand. 

It had a gaudy green stone and was covered in glitter. It was the most perfect thing she'd ever given him. He leaned forward in his seat to kiss her, ignoring the way the seat belt dug into his chest. 

He'd kiss Tallahassee once they had stopped and he could reach.

For now, he pressed a quick kiss to the ring and tried to keep from smiling like a complete goof.


End file.
